Tender & Elusive :
Meet The Shadow Lover

As part of honoring our commitment to cultural humility and anti-oppressive practices in research, our CIAB team took great care in honoring the voices of all of our participants, and gained feedback each step of the way through collaboration with the Asian American community.

The Shadow Lover’s Tracklist

The Past

How To Train Your Dragon scene Intro-0:14

One Day More! (Live) – “Les Miserables” 0:14-0:49

紅鞋女孩 (Live)- Sodagreen 0:49-1:23

乾杯- Mayday 1:23-2:01

Viva La Vida- Coldplay 2:01-3:38

The Present

Attack on Titan Quote 3:38-3:45

Love Cut- CNBLUE 3:46-7:02

RED- The Rose 7:02-9:47

Shadow- SEVENTEEN 9:47–13:00

The Future

When I Get Old- Christopher and CHUNG HA 13:00-16:13

The Secret World of Arrietty scene- 16:13-end

The Shadow Lover

We would like to extend our heartfelt thanks to Elizabeth Anglin for her incredible artwork titled The Shadow Lover!

In a teenager’s gentle and reflective mind, dreams blend seamlessly with reality. A young heart yearns for a love that has yet to reveal itself. This tender, elusive figure hovers at the edges of their imagination, symbolizing hope and possibility. As they transition from the past to the future, the teen finds comfort in daydreams, where their hopes begin to shape. Embracing the anticipation of love destined to blossom, they invite us to share in the vibrant colors of hope, love, and longing that fill their hearts.

Click Below to Follow Along with the Shadow Lover's Music Analysis

Family and friendships are the center of the shadow lover who is searching for the one true love who will ultimately accept them. Staring with How to Train Your Dragon:

Legend says that when the ground quakes or lava spews from the earth,

it’s the dragons letting us know they’re still here,

waiting for us to figure out how to get along.

The Shadow Lover’s CIAB switches to the Les Miserables’ song One More Day, representing the value of remaining hopeful while emphasizing the consequences of actions.

One day more,

Another day, another destiny.

This never-ending road to Calvary

(hope) ends with

These men who seem to know my crime

Will surely come a second time,

One day more

One day more

One day more

One day more

This hopefulness is likely installed from family, perhaps a song that has stuck with the teen for a long time. The teen further emphasizes their values, using a reverb on the phrase “one day more.” 

The Shadow Lover’s CIAB continues with an old fairytale about a pair of red shoes that a girl desired, but the shoes were cursed when she put them on (Red Shoe Girl).

街上的行人都在注視她~~ (Pedestrians on the street are looking at her)

卻忘了~ (But, I forgot) 

自己在做什麼 她幽幽帶來一絲絲微笑 (What am I doing? She says with a faint smile)

紅鞋女孩 (Red Shoe Girl) The Girl in the Red Shoes).

At first glance, this story tells the poignant tale of a young girl who is cursed to dance endlessly, forever trapped in the spotlight. However, underneath this surface narrative, the song also depicts her being whisked away to a distant land by an unknown foreigner. It happens so quickly—almost out of control, as if she’s been jolted away. This raises the question: does the teenager long to embrace the unknown and dive headfirst into a whirlwind of possibilities, knowing that her life will change instantly?

 

This dream continues with the song “乾杯 (Cheers) by Mayday, where the teenager looks back on this love and yearns for just one more drink.

有一天 時間真的能倒退 (One day time will really go back)

退回 你的我的 回不去的 悠悠的歲月 (to yours and mine, the long years can never return)

也許會 有一天 世界真的有終點 (Maybe one day the world will really end)

也要和你舉起回憶釀的甜 (I also want to think about the sweet memories of you.

和你再乾一杯 (And, have another drink with you)

A reverb technique is used, perhaps to emphasize wanting the past to continue forever and for eternity (or of slipping away). 

Could this be the shadow lover’s yearning fantasy about what might someday become of them? The song embodies a boyband’s dream, upbeat and reminiscent of a joyful run toward each other, like two people holding hands. Can you envision a vibrant and lively world filled with possibilities for the teen and their future lover? In “Viva La Vida” by Coldplay, the dream shatters the illusion, suggesting that magic can indeed happen—that their most passionate visions can come to life and that one day, the teen will have it all.The past ends by returning to the retelling of the French Revolution with Viva La Vida by Coldplay. It bookends the beginning from Les Miserable

(a song that bookends the beginning song Les Miserables as it, too, was written about the French Revolution). Starting with:

I used to rule the world

Seas would rise when I gave the word

Now in the morning, I sleep alone

Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice

Feel the fear in my enemy’s eyes

Listen as the crowd would sing

Now the old king is dead, long live the king

The song intentionally bookends the French Revolution. Viva de vida is about the downfall of a King. Does the teen know this, or is the teen wrapped up in the fantasy that is the irony? Whichever the case maybe, the crowd singing in unison during this live song can’t help but whisk the listener away into the present. 

The Shadow Lover’s present opens with a quote from Attack on Titan

The world is merciless,

And it’s also very beautiful

The music begins with the first 3 minutes and 15 seconds of the Korean song – Love Cut by CNBLUE, a familiar boy band love song. The music is muffled before increasing in volume. A Korean boy singing 

넌 날 어떻게 생각해 (I’m a little girl)

(sung in English) Love or not

아니면 장난감 (I’m so tired)

너의 손바닥 위네 (I’m afraid of you)

뛰어봤자 또 제자리로 와 (even if I jump, I’ll end back where I began)

넌 나 아니면  (oh,) (sung in English) That’s my fault
또 이건 내 잘못 (This is my bad)
넌 매번 날 바보 만드는 게임에서 (Every time, you play this game)
날 조종하고 있어 (As you control me)

그대로 싹둑 끊어 버릴 거야 (I’m gonna just cut you off)
모든 기억도 모든 슬픔도 (All the memories, all the sadness)
조금 아파도 금세 아물 거야 (Even if it hurts, it’ll heal soon)
지긋지긋한 사랑 (Sick of this love)
미칠 듯한 사랑의 상처가 (The scars from this love drive me crazy)

Is this the same teenager? The one who dreams of being swept off their feet?

It is only through the next song, Red by The Rose, that it becomes evident that the teen’s first love was terrible, but now there is a wonderful, joyful song about love. Filled with hope, the song begins with fingers snapping and becomes a Boy singer’s love letter to love.

Stay 작은 불빛 (Stay, little star light)

날 끌어당기는 Fireflies (The fireflies are leading me)

Take 날 데려가 (Take take me with you)

숨 막히는 시선 속에 (Inside your breathtaking gaze)

비춰지는 Moonlight (The moonlight shining)
길을 찾아가 (I find my way)
점점 가까이 내게 다가와 (Slowly come closer to me)

The song’s refrain tells us all:

(sung in English) I wanna be red
눈앞에 피어난 불꽃처럼 (Just like the burning fire in front of me)
I wanna be red
빨갛게 펼쳐진 하늘처럼 (Just like the sky painted in red)
I don’t care
I wanna be

The first refrain moves into the verse.

Stay 구름 위에 (Stay, up above the clouds)
꽃잎이 피어나 Like paradise (The flowers bloom like paradise)
Dance, move your body 
꿈꾸듯이 날아올라 (Fly like you’re dreaming)

Although the CIAB is submerged in the teen’s present, it beautifully intertwines with their future, a whisper of love that stirs the heart. It’s as if a hidden lover is poised to step out of the shadows, ready to bask in the warmth of their affection.

The future of the Shadow Lover is a tender space where love quietly flourishes, sheltered from the world. This journey highlights the beauty of hidden affections and the deep happiness they can bring, reminding us how serendipity can guide our hearts together in the most unexpected ways. It begins with an understanding of the longing within us, as we navigate the delicate dance of connection and vulnerability, ultimately leading us to a bond that feels both comforting and profound. Shadow by SEVENTEEN:

저 멀리 뜨거운 해 (The hot sun far away)

떠오르지 않길 원했어 (I didn’t want it to come to mind)

(Oh wuh)

빛의 반대편 (the other side of the light)

그늘진 모든 게 싫어서 (Because I hate everything shaded)

(Oh wuh)

널 남에게 보이지 않으려 (I don’t want others to see you)

Shadow my Shadow my Shadow

미워하고 아파도 했어 (I hated you and hurt you)

Shadow, my Shadow, my Shadow

Oh, 이제 난 알아 너 또한 나인걸 (Oh, now I know you are part of me too)

숨기고 싶지 않아 (I don’t want to hide you,)

나의 어두움마저 밝게 빛나고 말 테니까 (Even my darkn ess will shine brightly)

Although the song is meant to be about your inner world/shadow, it takes the meaning of the lover here. Then,When I Get Old” by Christopher and Chungha tells the listener that the teen has a bright, happy future ahead:

Wake up and smile, ’cause you’re beautiful

Those hazel eyes

When I get old, that’s all I wanna think about

I probably shouldn’t say this out loud

The Shadow Lover’s CIAB ends with a quote from “The Secret World of Arrietty” – a Japanese anime about a tiny young girl living with her family (between the cracks of the floorboards of a house. Arrietty is part of a small species known for “borrowing” things to keep her family alive.

It’s funny how you wake up each day and never really know if it’ll be one that will change your life forever.

This quote tells us that love isn’t about “if” but about “when” and “with whom.” As you read this, it has been over a year since the teen created their CIAB. Is it possible they have found love so soon?