The Dark Wanderer: An Asian American Teen's Journey

The Dark Wanderer’s Tracklist

The Past

Dead Poets Society Scene Intro-0:12

Safety Pin- 5 Seconds of Summer 0:13-0:44

August- Taylor Swift 0:44-2:24

Ripples-beabadoobee 2:25-3:04

The Present

Lady Bird Scene 3:04-3:10

I Want To Be With You- chloe moriondo 3:10-3:55

Angel- PinkPantheress 3:55-4:46

Back To December- Taylor Swift 4:46-5:50

The Future

Hate Yourself- TV Girl 5:50-6:53

American Teenager- Ethel Cain 6:53-7:32

Tomorrow (from Annie) (White House Version)- Aileen Quinn 7:32-End

The dark wanderer is surrounded by loneliness and loss. They wants to find love. There is a sense of impermanence in all relationships, along with feelings of sorrow and loss woven throughout their story.

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Click Below to Follow Along with the Dark Wanderer's Music Analysis

The Dark Wanderer's Past

The dark wanderer starts their CIAB with a quote from the Dead Poets Society –

If you listen really closely,

You can hear them whisper their legacy to you.

Go on, lean in.

Listen,

You hear it?

It is as if the dark wanderer is telling the listener to turn up the volume and focus on what they are about to mix because what will come next is essential to understand who they are. The past begins with Safety Pin by 5 Seconds of Summer, which shows how the teen is calling out for connection –

Runaways, we’re the long-lost children (Hey!)

Runnin’ to the edge of the world

Everybody wants to throw us away

Broken boy meets broken girl

You said you tried it all before (Hey!)

And it only makes it worse

Oh, but this time, maybe this time

Two wrongs make it right

We’ll safety pin the pieces of our broken hearts back together

The dark wanderer uses the song August, by Taylor Swift to express how they regret missing plans because they were waiting to meet someone who never came, echoing the lyrics –

Back when I was livin’

for the hope of it all, for the hope of it all

“Meet me behind the mall”

Remember when I pulled up and said, “Get in the car”

And then canceled my plans just in case you’d call?

Back when I was livin’ for the hope of it all

The dark wanderer’s CIAB ends with Ripples by Beabadoobee expressing how the teen feels like being led on by someone they’re wasting their life on –

When you’d wait ’til we get far

And tell me that you’ll be gone soon.

The Dark Wanderer's Present

The present begins with a quote from the movie Lady Bird –

Don’t you think maybe they are the same thing—love and attention?

The dark wanderer starts the music before the quote is finished, suggesting a connection between love and attention through the lyrics of the song

I Want To Be With You by chloe moriondo –

And I live in the suburbs

And it’s almost unnatural

How lame I act around you

Give me a chance

To say what I mean

Please do the same

This gives the listener the impression that the teen may regret not expressing their feelings before it was too late. This sense of regret is sonically depicted through echoes, which create ripples between moments and places. The lyrics also convey a feeling of impermanence in relationships in the song Angel by PinkPantheress:

You won’t check your phone,

So you can’t tell me you’re okay,

Because , Johnny, my baby,

Did it always have to end this way?

‘Cause one day

One day, my baby just went away

My angel

The past concludes with a brief song featuring a simple melody, looped violin effects, and soft whispering harmonizations.

As listeners, we are increasingly overwhelmed by sadness as the songs accumulate. This theme of sorrow and loss will continue throughout the CIAB, prompting us to question the possibility of second chances.

You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowin’ my pride

Standin’ in front of you sayin’ I’m sorry for that night

And I go back to December all the time

The Dark Wanderer's Future

In American Teenage by Ethel Caine, you can hear the earnestness of the singer –

But say it like you mean it with your fists for once

A long, cold war with your kids at the front

Just give it one more day then you’re done

I do what I want

Crying in the bleachers and I said it was fun

I don’t need anything from anyone

It’s just not my year

But I’m all good out here

The song’s ending makes a listener wonder if the teen is trying to convince the listener that the teen will be alright (which we know is a typical Asian American trait—to keep face) or whether it is to convince the teen themselves. Nevertheless, the future songs never extend beyond the next year—as if they can only hold tightly to a “one day at a time” approach to life.

There is optimism/sadness about the future(?) as expressed in the lyrics from Annie:

It’s difficult to know why the

teen chose this version of

Tomorrow because the sound

is sung without any

instruments. It provides a

wishful, yet sad ending.

That’s gray and lonely

I just stick out my chin

And grin and say, oh

The sun’ll come out

Tomorrow